Minesweeper

With my family, I sometimes feel like I'm playing a game of Minesweeper. It is a game that I am not particularly good at, and I am pretty careless with how I play because I don't know how to play with a strategy and I will always lose eventually, but I just have this desire to play it because it keeps me busy and doesn't require much focus.

I think of the game as me dealing with my family. I don't know how to do it correctly, but I still associate with them. I need to keep myself distracted until I can worry about my own personal problems in the future when I have my own life. If I make one wrong move, then it's game over and a massive explosion happens that you didn't expect and it can be devastating. I never know when something is going to explode and I can't avoid it, so I just have to keep clicking away. That's the only way to play the game - just click away and hope for the best. But the worst part is, no matter how many times you lose, the game starts right back up again for you to try and fail. It never ends, there will always be more hidden explosives to avoid in life. You just have to hope for the best.

One of my friends pointed out a quote I said in one of previous blog posts: "Friendship is my oxygen." I still agree with this, only now, I'm afraid that no matter how much oxygen I have, I still don't have the proper help. Air only gets you as far as living. You need a whole lot more to make sure you stay alive.