I'm having a Charlie Brown moment. I am so stressed that I wish I had a friend that only charged a nickel for advice (even though Lucy wasn't really a licensed therapist, and wasn't very good either, but I guess that's what you get for 5 cents).
My life is me, repeatedly running up to kick the football, thinking "maybe this time will be different. Maybe I will actually get to kick it this time. Maybe I'll catch a break here." And then... Life (Lucy) snatches the ball up, and I go flying forward and crash, while she smiles smugly.
You know, I don't think Charlie Brown asked for too much. Sure sometimes he was a little too optimistic (really, the 'Little Red-Haired Girl' is not going to send you a valentine. If you don't even know her real name, chances are, she doesn't know yours either), but he really didn't expect too much. He tried to stay under the radar and live his life, but his friends always pushed him to do things he didn't really want to do. He didn't want to disappoint anybody, but his incredibly ungrateful friends criticized him time and time again.(Except for Linus, who was pretty bad-ass even though he carried a blanket and sucked his thumb, and Franklin, the only black kid on the show who made like, three appearances, yet my mom loves him anyway).
Right now, my stress has taken the form of the football, and no matter how hard I try to kick it out of sight, it just ends up leaving me on my back in defeat. I have to satisfy my friends or else I'll lose them, I have to satisfy my employers or else I have no more job, I have to satisfy my club buddies or else they feel abandoned and upset, I have to satisfy teachers or else they give me bad grades, I have to satisfy colleges and universities or else they won't have me, I have to satisfy my school (like my counselor) or else they won't help me move on to college, I have to satisfy my family for the next year or else I won't even make it out of here alive, I have to satisfy myself or else I'll never move forward, and I have to satisfy the people who believe in me by satisfying myself, which can't be done when I have to satisfy every other factor of my life!
My life really isn't any different from a cartoon, because even though you get introduced to new characters and new situations, you keep reliving the same plot, same friends and enemies, same unchanging character traits, same mishaps and letdowns, same location. Every advance in life is pretty much forgotten in the next couple of episodes. And this whole cycle keeps going until the show is finished or gets canceled.
I don't want my show to get canceled, but how come things are never really switched up every season??
I wish my cartoon version of life was more like Kim Possible instead of Charlie Brown. With Kim, "she could do anything". Like, literally - cheer-leading, world-saving, happy-family-keeping, bff-having, helpful-pet-having, friends-with-the-entire-world, college-admittance-gaining, awesome-boyfriend-getting... she could do ANYTHING, and STILL find time for high school and babysitting. Are you kidding me?!? All Charlie Brown had were annoying, unhelpful adults, bogus friends, and a bothersome dog that was somehow more popular than he was. And let me tell you, Charlie Brown had depression. I know that's a bit much for a cartoon character, but the signs were there, and considering he wasn't even in high school yet, you couldn't see things getting much better for him.
Why must I be Charlie Brown?
Although I KNOW you are completely serious - the fact remains that this another piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to having to satisfy all those people - it's an illusion. You really only have to satisfy YOU and then all those others' WILL be satisfied too because you'll be satisfied with you.
I am not charging you a nickle(so tired can't remember HOW to spend 5 cent's name), but I can say this about "Kim POSSIBLE," you are her - the REAL her - on television, and remember it's TV, they are only going to show the "glamorous" side - they don't tend to show the reality - even though there are reality TV shows, those are scripted!!! When you are doing you and living YOUR life there isn't a script - there's just you and rolling with the punches - and I must say you are doing it pretty fantastically!
Breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth... AND REPEAT until you are in a better state of mind and only satisfying YOU!!
OR do what Charlie Brown does when he is knocked off his feet on to his keester(BUM) scream, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" sometimes that expulsion of pent up emotions helps to ease you back into a state of peace.
I am breathing in and out and screaming ARGH because it's Monday! You too can join me and feel a little bit of relief even if it is only momentary. You only need to live IN the MOMENT - not the next one - living in the moment (sometimes) guarantees that you're PRESENT NOW, alive to what is before you - not behind or ahead... and really that's the best to strive after instead of the variables that are uncontrollable.
HUGS,
JoLynn :)
FIRST sentence was supposed to read, "this IS another piece of BRILLIANT writing..." not sure what happened between me writing it and hitting the "Post Comment" button.
ReplyDeleteOH and why were you awake at such an hour writing? Couldn't sleep?