If We Were A Movie

Nowadays, my friends poke fun at me when I'm being overly silly with my female friends, saying "You are definitely bisexual." When I was questioning and when I actually did come out, they were all indifferent, like "well we knew that already, we were just waiting for you to admit it." I don't understand how what took me years to figure out was just so obvious to most of my friends, but I am glad the transition has not been problematic.

Lately, I've been noticing that I'm getting a little too friendly with my female friends. I joke with them all the time, but I just go too far now and they get annoyed or uncomfortable. Maybe it's because I'm still new to this and am still sort of experimenting, but I have never been this open and crazy with any of my guys friends, not even the ones I had a crush on. Maybe it's because I've been feeling extra lonely, since most of my friends are getting into relationships or have new love interests. I'm almost thrilled at the idea that my chances at love are expanded now - it's given me a little hope, which I've desperately needed (I've been a little down in the dumps... as usual). I hadn't really had a strong attraction to any certain girl though...

Not until today anyway.

First of all, since I woke up this morning, the song "Kiss The Girl" from The Little Mermaid has been stuck in my head all day. I didn't know why - I hadn't listened to the song or anything remotely similar to that (the last song I listened to a rap song), but all day, my brain would hum a nice a capella version of the song in my voice (if my voice could handle singing more than one note). After school, at my Anime Club meeting, we had some new members, which is to be expected since it's still early in the school year. My friend Bria said that her friend wanted to know what "foofin-coffin" meant. *"Foofin-coffin" is a word that me, Bria, and Brandon came up with one day when trying to replace a curse word, but now we just use foofin-coffin in any context because it's funny to say* I told Bria to tell her what we always tell people what it meant - that it's when you "foof" in a coffin. It's still part of the joke, we don't expect people to keep following after that.

A few minutes later, I see this new girl and she is GORGEOUS. Like, she honestly had me stopping dead in my tracks. I was scared that I suddenly felt nervous. My plan was to go over to her, say hi, and introduce myself as the club's publicist, and the time seemed right because the other club board members were having a debate about something while trying to set up the projector to show the anime (japanese cartoons). So I finally got the confidence to talk to her. Here's how it went:

Me- Hi.
Her- Hi.
Me- What's your name?
Her- Lauren.
Me- I'm Jerica. I'm the club's publicist, and don't worry, I'm not as crazy as the other board members are.
Her- *laughs* Okay.
Me- What grade are you in?
Her- Junior.
Me- Oh, I haven't seen you before.
Her- I'm new [transfer student].
Me- Oh, okay. *I smile and turn to walk away*
Her- Wait!
Me- *turn around*
Her- What does foofin-coffin mean?
Me- *jaw drops to floor, face is burning. My thoughts: CRAP.*
      Uh... *my confidence is shot now* I-It's when you... foof... in a coffin.
Her- What's foofing?
Me- *Thoughts: DOUBLE CRAP - NO ONE EVER ASKS THAT.*
      Uh... I'll tell you when you're older. *small smile*
*She laughs and I flee in embarrassment, pretending to listen to this person talking to me*

OH. MY. GOD. I WANTED TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT. I can never use the word foofin-coffin again. I can't even think it without the whole scene replaying in my head. I have never felt that nervous or embarrassed in front of a guy before. But you want to know what really blew me away? All I wanted to do was hold hands with her. That's what my brain kept thinking, us holding hands. THIS CRUSH IS THE REAL DEAL. I have no idea how to handle this. God, she was so pretty - light skin, dark red hair, beautiful face, and since she came to Anime Club and she's friends with Bria, she must be weird like I am.

If I see her around school, or see her next week at Anime Club, I will flee and hide under a table.

Oh, Fate, how you taunt me.

Talking Bout My Generation

Facebook and other social networking sites are our generation's equivalent of climbing out the window in rebellious clothing, shimmying down the drainpipe, and meeting up with our beaus who our parents would hate.

Think about it. Teachers tell parents to monitor their kids online activity. Most kids are on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, etc. And what teens say online is more than likely something they would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS say or do in front of their parents. We escape to cyber space when our parents "just don't understand". We meet up with our friends and put up images to represent ourselves that may or may not show the real them. We say inappropriate things, joke about stuff our parents wouldn't get, invite others to parties and events, meet up with new people, flirt with our beaus, and make ourselves seem so much cooler than we are in real life. Face it, if most of us didn't have social networking sites, we wouldn't be as cool and confident and social as we are now.

And adults today don't seem to approve. But this way is actually better than sneaking out past curfew and meeting up with hoodlums and dressing like punks and hanging out in shady areas just because it's the cool new hangout spot. Online, it's easier to see what our peers really act like and we can background check people and places and the peer pressure seems a lot lower and we can check out lots of different events and new friends and well, there's a plethora of things that are more beneficial than acting like past angsty generations.

If you think about, this generation is a lot more behaved than the ones we see in movies.